UFO

I've never been much of a UFO follower, although I've had some fun making mock-ups of them, but if I'm going to do a blog about Fortean Phenomena, I've got to talk about them sooner or later, so I may as well get it out of the way now.
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I honestly think it is ignorant to believe that our little rock is the only place in this whole ever-expanding universe for life to have evolved.
Our little star, in the unfashionable end of a dull little spiral galaxy, is just like hundreds of others. Our primitive equiptment has let us see that some of these stars have planets too, some very similar to our little blue-green ball, and some of those planets formed a long time before ours.
Many people feel this is a religious issue, that the idea of aliens somehow negates the idea of God, but consider this, if you built a fifty-acre zoo, would you be content to have the only animals there be a shoal of fish in a bowl? why would the big guy make a whole universe, and then spend all his time watching one tiny spec of it?
We ARE going to find life out there, but when we do, what will do about it?
We may as well be penguins watching fighter planes fly over... and we continue as we are, the best we'll get from them is a chuckle when we fall on our collective asses.

Our little rock has made a hell of a lot of noise over the last century.
No doubt that's attracted some attention, even if ET's just swooping by to watch a movie or two.
Which gives us something else to consider, what will those other, more advanced, societies think of us when they see "Alien" or "Independance Day"? -will it be the same as the "civilised" europeans thought of the "savage" natives when they went to america? or the same as the jews though when they got to the promised land and found it full of heathens?
Will they realise that these tales of science fiction are meant to represtent our own inner struggles, or will they just assume that this planet is full of mentals who'll pick a fight with anything that looks a little different (and who could blame them for thinking that?)
Will they even understand the concept of fiction, or will they judge us harshly for sitting on our asses listening to stories when half the people on our planet are dying?
I really hope they catch some "Dr Who" before they make up their minds about us (although i highly doubt they'll join David Tennant's Doctor in the opinion:"Humans? Brilliant!"
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Having said all that, I also have to say that I have yet to see a UFO picture that wasn't either a blatant fake like my own photo-shop fairies, or far more likely to be a bug than a bug-eyed monster.

There's a great free download on Fortean Times at the moment [ see www.forteantimes.com and go to strange days, UFO files, and "guide to investigating UFOs" ]
It's got a section all about faking UFO photos, which is well worth a look over.

The real problem with UFO stuff, is the amount of confusion surrounding it.
Most UFO sightings are around airports, they are often made by people who aren't familiar with the area and thus don't know that there's an airport nearby.
As a kid I saw a perfect saucer swooping down towards the rooftops of London... to make a perfect landing at heathrow. An aeroplane can look exactly as we expect a UFO to when you see it face on, rather than the normal side angles we're used to.

Near where I live is a small RAF base, and for a few years ago ('94 to '98 ish) there was a long spate of reports about a "black triangular object" - these became known locally as "Sinfin triangles" and were a sort of local in-joke.
The RAF had borrowed several B2 stealth bombers from the USAF.
The UK government wasn't supposed to have this kind of craft for various reasons, so they just let the UFO reports keep piling up while they trained our pilots to use the planes.

The most common spate of UFO reports in america is in the last two weeks of june and the first two weeks of july.
In England, there's always a load of them at the end of october and the start of november...
I'm sure there must be some reason why people see so many lights in the sky at these times...

Chinese lanterns are getting really popular now as well, and I've seen more UFO photos of them than I've seen square meals in the last few weeks.
They drift about, slowly one way, then whizz off in another direction as they catch a cross wind, and when they're let off one at a time, they all follow roughly the same pattern, as if they were flying in formation; it looks really cool, but it's a paper bag with a candle inside, not an invasion force from another world.

When I was at school I was huge X-files fan and we made our own episode as part of a design project (we used action figures, it was very robot chicken) we made a UFO for one sequence, and it was really quite convincing (there were pupils talking about it as a real sighting for about a week before we had to show the project) we used five matt-black ballons, some coloured glow-sticks and a pukka-pie tin.
The glow-sticks were all bundled up in a twisty shape, with the pie tin on top, all suspended from the balloons by black cord. We let it go after dark and filmed it for a bit, the non-reflective balloons and the black cord were pretty much invisible once it got a few feet in the air.
Also because the whole thing was slightly off balence it spun as the wind moved it, and it had the twisty-glowing bit at the bottom, which looked like some kind of crazy power source that kept changing shape.
Because of the glowing light, I doubt that it would get more than a glance from a proper UFO investigator, bright lights are pretty common in natural phenomena, and they make it really hard to work out the size of an object.

I'm not suggesting that anyone should perpetrate a hoax in this way, rather I'm pointing out that humans love pretty lights and pyrotechnics, we don't need any extra terrestrials to make our sky pretty with lights.

As for the people who want to get photos of REAL UFOs there's enough advice out there for how to get a sighting. The main thing (as always) is to make sure you've got a fast camera.
When you buy the camera, tell them you're going to be watching a meteor shower, (there are
and you'll get all the advice you need about shooting bright fast-moving lights at night, tell them you want UFO photos and they'll laugh at you and milk you for every penny you have.

PHOTOSHOPPING FAIRIES

My first fortean-photoshop was simple enough... oddly reminiscent of some other fairy pictures don't you think?
The girl in the picture is a friend of mine, she's actually sitting by a bonfire in the dark, watching fire-works, but the expression was just what I needed.
The fairy is composited from a free-stock-photo of a dragonfly, and a picture I stole from the internet. (I can admit to stealing the photo, because I've altered it enough that it's no longer covered by copyright law, and I've never made any money from the picture.)
The tree background was donated by a friend.
The original version (which has long since disappeared into my archives) had a larger fairy with butterfly wings, but she just didn't look right. The halo around the fairy has also been added, since several people didn't notice the fairy at all.
If you look very closely you will see the girl's eyes have reflections of the fairy in them.

The Cottingley Style pictures have since become quite popular.

[Thanks again to the two little girls, and their mums for giving me permission to use their photos in my demo pics, and to the nice lady who let me have a picture of her pond too.]

Using various re-coloring techniques and playing with the opacity and blur tools, I was able to produce the fluttering effect on the wings, and the reflections in the water.

This is the kind of stuff that you'll see all over the net, it takes a matter of minutes and can look really nice if you play about with the lighting effects.

This is a very simple way to do a fairy picture, but it doesn't stand up to close scrutiny.

I'm not trying to perpetrate a fairy hoax... but there are plenty of folks that have.

Here's a recent one, which has been doing the rounds on cryptozoology websites.

I've seen it re-hashed with half a dozen different stories, most of which claim the photo has been examined by experts and they have agreed it's authentic.

That's "authentic" as in it hasn't been tampered with, it's not a double exposure or a Photoshop job. It doesn't mean it's definately a picture of a fairy.

To me it looks more like some kind of long legged water-bird.

The super-blurry pictures are always hard to deal with because they tend to show us what we want to see -like ink-blots. The subject of WHY people want it to be a fairy rather than a bird is one which could go on for hours... I'm not going to go into it in detail here.

There have also been quite a lot of pictures doing the rounds which are actually photos of sculptures, my favorites are Tessa Farmer's "little savages" [ see www.tessafarmer.com ] but the most popular seem to be Juan Caban's pieces [ see www.thefeejeemermaid.com ]

I get really annoyed about people claiming these images as their own, and using them to perpetrate hoaxes, not least because in doing so they take away from the artist, not allowing them any credit for the time, money, effort and skill that has gone into making the creatures.

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{PLEASE NOTE: the following advice is given on the assumption that fairies are real, since I've never seen one, and have never seen any convincing evidence of them, I cannot make any claim as to their existance/non-existance. I present this information for entertainment purposes only}

To get real fairy photos, one must deal with all the same problems as a wildlife photographer shooting insects, only the subjects are very clever, and clearly not keen on the paparatzi.

Add magical powers and malevolent humor to this, and it's no wonder that the only man ever to have made a habit of it (Charles Castle, who's story was told in the film "Photographing Fairies") went completly mad.

The first major problem is one of location.

Fairy populations are reputedly related to human belief in fairies; and thus have been in decline since the industrial revolution. They are supposed to be attracted to stone circles and other pre-christian monuments, as well as woodlands.

A source of clean fresh water seems to be a must as well, preferably a stream or brook, but a pond will do.

One would assume that, like most wildlife, they are not keen on humans messing about with their environment, and so they will steer clear of towns and cities; but might be spotted occasionally in an unkempt wildlife garden.

As well as a camera with a very fast shutter speed, and the patience of a saint, I would recommend the following equiptment:

-No camoflage.

Fairies are intelligent, if you try to hide from them, they will see you, and they will have great fun mocking you; instead wear bright friendly colours, (they're reputedly big fans of pink and yellow) and announce yourself and why you are there, this shows respect, and offers them more chance to leave discreetly of they don't want to be photographed, while also sparking their curiosity.

-Lots of cake.

Maybe the fairy folk want proof of your respect for them, maybe they just have sweet teeth, either way they're supposed to go mad for cake. (The Cottingley girls used Victoria sponge.) They seem to have adapted their tastes with the times, so whatever you can pick up at the supermarket should be fine, but I get the feeling they'd prefer for someone to make them their own special cake, even if it tastes rancid: effort and belief seem to be what feed the little folk.

-Ribbons and Bells.

Much like the cake, this is all about showing respect for the fairy folk, any kind of pretty gift that they could use or enjoy should do the trick, all the better if it's something you've made yourself.

A sense of humor. You must expect them to play tricks on you; they might spend an hour posing for you, only for you discover that they've stolen the film from your camera. When they do play a prank you must accept it with grace, and congratulate them on it, just like school kids, this will earn you far more respect than getting angry or upset.

-An iron key or pendant.

Iron is somehow dangerous for fairies. My theory is that people first stopped believing in fairies at the time they discovered iron, so it becomes painful by association. A horseshoe is a bit obvious, and quite hefty, a key or pendant is far less blatant a weapon against them, and therefore far less likely to cause offence. You might want to make a point of leaving this item a short distance from your eventual shooting position, as a gesture of trust.

NEVER GIVE FAIRIES CLOTHES

There all kinds of explanations about why giving fairies clothes makes them angry, it doesn't matter why, all you need to know is- it really ticks them off.

NEVER ACCEPT FOOD OR DRINK FROM FAIRIES

This effectivly gives them permission to spirit you away to fairyland, and when (or if) you come back, you won't be the same.

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Whether real or not, I've always been fascinated by fairies. From Enid Blyton and Hans Christian Anderson, to Bill Willingham and Niel Gaiman, I have poured and pondered over every fairy story I could lay hands on.

Fairies are rarely good, except when they have been re-written.

They are rarely evil either, but they have the capacity to be really, really nasty.

More than anything they make me think of ten-year-old children, with no manners or sense of discipline. The kind you see roaming the streets in packs, with skateboards or scooters, looking for something to do. They are not particularly creative, or destructive, but a tiny push, even a single word, can whip them into a frenzy of excited activity; they might spend a whole day building a treehouse with a collective skill that amazes the adults who see, the next day they might spend throwing bricks from a bridge into the traffic below.

Whatever they do they do with enthusiasm and cunning.

I'm quite glad that there is no conclusive proof that they DO exist, but I'd also hate to see proof that they don't.

I WANT TO BELIEVE

I WANT TO BELIEVE


I first saw that on the poster behind Mulder's desk the week after I first heard about the Cottingley Fairies.


For those not familiar with the case, in 1917, after the Great War, two girls (Elsie Wright and Francis Griffiths) faked a series of fairy photos, and fooled the whole world, for a time.


Arther Conan Doyle was involved, he verified the pictures as real, and generally got a bit too excited without looking too carefully at the evidence.


The girls had copied and cut out a series of pictures from a book (one for which Doyle had in fact written the foreword) and then held them in place with hatpins while they took the photos.


It wasn't until the mid-eighties that Elsie admitted: "Where I was sitting you could see the hatpins."
From the first time I read it, at age 10, that sentence has always sent a chill down my spine.


Somehow, this marvellous story of the two little girls, who had proven the existence of faries became instead a story of how two devious children fooled the world, and (however unintentionally) helped to destroy Doyle's reputation.


And yet, I must point out that Francis, until the day she died, said that the fairies were real, they just wouldn't allow themselves to be photographed.

Her version of the story was made into "Fairytale: a true story" by disney


And part of me still believes in fairies; in those exquisite little figures, dancing off-balance across the sunflower, in their contemporary clothes, with their fashionable haircuts and motionless wings.



I WANT TO BELIEVE



Two years ago, I found a job as a photo-printer, I take a picture, clean it up, and put it onto canvas.

I now do a line of pictures that I call "Cottingley Style" where I edit fairies into pictures of little girls, playing in gardens -they've been quite successful.


I also do "Harry Potter" and "Lord of the Rings" they're nowhere near as popular.


I quite often get people in who've been on ghost walks.


Having overheard one of our local ghostwalks, telling everyone how "Elizabeth I's daughter Mary, haunts the streets" I can't say I'm convinced by their historical knowledge.


I'm even less happy about how they take people to an old abandoned farm and promise that they will get ghost photos.



what they're actually photographing are called "orbs"


they look like bubbles of light, drifting around the room, and they can be filmed, or photographed, but you never see them with the human eye.


That's because they're actually specks of dust, reflecting the light from the flash.


The swindling so-and-so's are charging people upwards of £20:00 a go, for the privage of walking behind them for three miles while they talk absolute rubbish, and take photos of dust.

The thing is, that ghosts are one of the few Fortean Phenomena that I have first hand experiance with, and I DO believe in them.


I just can't believe that anyone is allowed to get away with ripping people off like this, to play on their hopes and fears, and to eventually discredit the very thing that they claim to be showing to people.

I'm sure that there are ghost walk companies out there, who really do their research, who learn all the old folk tales and tid-bits of history that relate to spooky events, but I've seen less evidence of them than of Sasquatch!



I REALLY DO WANT TO BELIEVE


My Job has recently led to me helping a few people to "verify" pictures of various Fortean Phenomena.


So far I've seen simualcre and optical illusion, excellent photoshopping, and blatant tounge-in-cheek mockeries. I've yet to see anything i couldn't reproduce myself with absolutely no supernatural influences.


I WANT TO BELIEVE BUT I NEED CONVINCING